Saturday, October 13, 2012

A Quick Trip to NY

Last Saturday at this time I was jetting across the Atlantic en route to New York City. I had a busy week planned and was just enjoying watching a few movies and reading a manuscript. Little did I know how truly busy it would be.

I spent Saturday and Sunday nights with two different friends and their families. I've been friends with each woman for about 20 years. They are good, solid friendships that started in our twenties and  have lasted through thick and thin. We've been to each other's weddings, seen the birth of children, etc. etc. Both are exceptionally successful - both rose to the top of their professions: one in magazine publishing and the second in digital publishing. On Monday and Tuesday, I stayed with another extremely successful friend who is in the same industry I am. My final night was spent with my former landlords and our neighbors. All, such good, good people.

I have to say it was really nice to be surrounded by people I love, who are like minded, ambitious, super smart and driven. And true friends - I don't have to worry about how I look, what I'm wearing, where I live, or anything else. It's just comfortable, fun,  interesting and relaxing.

Then I worked my tail off for the rest of the week - which I really enjoyed. I don't work nearly as hard here in London as I did in New York. It's difficult to do that when you work out of the house. It's challenging to be motivated and sometimes it's just ridiculous - more than once I have had to shut my bedroom door (my desk is in our bedroom), run into a large walk-in closet, shut THAT door and take a business call while curled up on the window sill - just to get away from the sound of little kids playing in the other room (don't worry they are always supervised by the nanny or husband!).

While in NY I did a lot of thinking about my life here in the UK and the result, I fear, is not as rosy and I'd like you to think. I want to move back to the US for many reasons but the main two: work and friends/family. I am a working mother. I will always have a job, it's part of my nature. I wanted a job where I could work at home so I could have time with my children - and for that I'm appreciative. But they are both in school now - I just wish I had an office to go to instead of my bedroom.

The second, friends/family, is even more dire. We have no family here whatsoever. That is just sad. I wish we had some family nearby to share the holidays with, etc. I've made a small handful of friends that I know I'll always have, but then there is the majority of acquaintances that I could really do without. Some make me uncomfortable, I feel I've become gossipy, and little smaller of a person. I don't want to be a part of something that makes me feel icky - and I feel that one or two of the 'friends' I've made have got to go. Sound harsh? I guess so. But I want to be happy about the choices I make and the company I keep.

We're here for at least another 1 1/2 years. I have to make the most of it. I will continue to work the way I do and just visit NY more often (but not too often, my children need me, and I need them). And I think I'll just close the circle of friends I already have - the ones I like, the ones I can count on.

Finally, the coffee mornings that roll on for 2 hours have got to stop. I need to get this house in order once and for all!

3 comments:

  1. If people make you uncomfortable, then they shouldn't be a part of your life. Good for you. I wish I could get rid of some people in my circle of friends!

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  2. The beauty of growing older is learning when someone isn't adding value to your life. I used to always want a huge group of friends and worked hard at it...now I realize more people = more problems. I keep a very small, tight group around me...I'm talking 4 people, and I am much happier now.

    Have you thought about networking groups? Just to get out and speak with other business people? I know they have lots of coffee mornings here, chamber of commerce etc.

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  3. Fortunately I only have the sheep to gossip with and they are very discreet!

    New York, solo, what fun. xx

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