Thursday, September 15, 2011
To tell, or not to tell? That is the question....
Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. ~Shana Alexander
This week I was reluctantly, and unexpectedly, dragged into a wretched round of gossip. It was aimed at a very good friend of mine and I had a choice to make. Do I tell her about it, or do I keep my mouth shut? I mulled it over and over and ultimately decided that if there was such a rumour floating around about me I would want to know and be able to confront the originator.
I agonized about it, talking to my husband and another impartial, uninvolved confidant, who both were quite reasonable and told me to do what I felt I needed to do. I didn't want to upset my friend or cause any trouble. After much deliberation, I decided to call her. I was not the first to call. I was not ringing the bell, I was just echoing it. Which was a relief, but I was somewhat disappointed in myself for not telling her sooner.
What happened next was an unfortunate turn of events where everyone lost. Everyone. The accusor was called out and lambasted, the accused was rightly furious and upset, I felt awful about it. But it is over. Thank God.
Now that I'm a supposed adult, with a husband, family and responsibilities it truly dismayed me to be dragged down into this highschool drama. It made me question whether I wanted to remain with this certain group or not. I do - one bad experience doesn't represent the whole group. I have made some excellent friendship and I plan to continue to make more. I'm a good friend to those I love. Don't mess with my family or my friends, people!
So, I'm moving on. But it's left a bitter taste in my mouth and I just feel ugly about it. I hope to never be put in this position again. I won't let myself. I should have shut it down at the first whisper but I didn't. I won't do that again.
I msut stress that NONE of this was malicious on anyone's part. It was just unfortunate.
Heavy sigh. Moving on....