Friday, September 9, 2011
Handling bullies....and their mums
Let me set a scene, I have them over for a playdate the other day. She shows up with her son, T, who is just about to turn seven, and her 3 1/2 year old daughter, S. The kids are playing in the lounge as my friend and I are in the kitchen making coffee (and cake!). No more than 10 minutes pass before Cate is crying hysterically and comes running in, closely followed by T. T is full of excuses: he was playing with the plastic sword and Cate grabbed it and wouldn't let go so he 'accidentally' hit her over the head with it.
There are holes in this story you could drive an armoured tank through. Cate likes playing with both of them but something always goes wrong... always out of my sight and always results in Cate crying. Cate's no angel, but I've caught him pushing her, shoving her, snatching things away from her and then lying about it. Each time he is not reprimanded, but my friend is quite keen to try defend him and put the blame on Cate. It's irritating in the extreme and I'm getting tired of defending my child - who doesn't deserve to be talked down to when she isn't always in the wrong.
I ask Cate what happened and she said, 'T hit me.' T quickly repeats his story and looks to his mum. His mum then gets down to Cate's level and said, 'Cate, you can't grab things out of someone's hands and get rough. T was only protecting himself.'
I bit my tongue. Hard. I took the sword and put it into a time out in my bedroom. When I returned I got a 'friendly' lecture from my friend on child parenting. I know she thinks she's a whiz and parenting, and God knows I am willing to learn, but her kids are serious pains in the ass. They talk back, they destroy my house even when I ask them not to, they help themselves to anything and T has even tried to break a few of my things - on purpose. Is it wrong to seriously dislike a nearly 7-year-old boy?
I debated about saying anything to her for a while but she didn't let it go. Finally, I said, 'Thanks for the advice, but I think I'm good.'
She made a definite 'I don't think so' look and picked her coffee cup up, ever so slightly rolling her eyes.
I'm done here, I believe. She's not a member of my women's club and she doesn't know about this blog (maybe). So, what do you think? Adios, or what?