I'm not going to gripe about how London is not good for my health because that is just glaringly obvious. But with the fever and the restless sleeping comes nightmares. And when I have a scary dream it's usually a whopper. I dream about my husband dying, or worse - leaving me for someone else, about my children going missing and about being attacked. Two reoccurring themes: the creepy hemocyte, hive dwelling, zombie people from Will Smith's I Am Legend and dinosaurs.
I don't watch scary movies - none of them. Not horror, slasher, sci-fi, vampires, zombies - nu-uh. Not for me. Because of my over active imagination and tendency to
When I was pregnant with X we watched I Am Legend because Fen assured me it wasn't that scary. Wrong! Scared me half out of my wits. I used to live right in Madison Square Park so I knew that area well. But we were living in a brownstone in Brooklyn - with bars on the front windows but none on the back which hosted our zombie-friendly back yard. Fen had to travel shortly after that movie and I barely slept because my hormonal brain kept thinking about the horrific zombies from I Am Legend. Honestly, I knew I was being nutty but I couldn't help myself. I thought of escape routes and hiding places for Cate and myself, should anything (including home invaders, thieves, etc.) happened. Complete ludicrous now, but really exhausting then.
I haven't even thought of that movie in about two years - but I dreamt about it last night. I woke up with a start, but rolled right back over and fell asleep.
The dinosaurs stem from Jurassic Park - the original. I love that movie but it scared my some kinda stupid the first time I watched it. The T-Rex in particular. The scene when she busts out of the fences after gulping down the lamb is my favourite one. Even now it wins me over. I do like a little scare from time to time.
But that movie came out in 1993 - when I was first in New York City trying to make it in publishing. Money was tight and sometimes I'd make $20 stretch an entire week. I would dream of dinosaurs when I had financial difficulties and I figured that dinosaurs represented debt to me. I dreamed about them a lot in the mid nineties. I walked to and from work almost every day from east 89th and 1st Avenue to Rockefeller Center when I worked at Simon and Schuster. On that 45 minute walk each way I would entertain myself by window shopping on Madison Avenue (Lord knows I couldn't afford a THING in any of the stores back then) and wondering where I could hide or run to should a giant T-Rex wander up Fifth or Lex. (Mind you - the dinosaurs were all female, so a discerning, fashion forward dino would want the best eats Manhattan had to offer - which is the upper East Side, natch)
But two nights ago the T-Rex from Jurassic showed up in my unconscious mind again. So on the school run yesterday I once again, after about a 15 years lapse, entertained myself with searching Hampstead for the best dinosaur hiding spots. There are plenty - in case you're wondering.
I'm feeling heaps better, but I think that having all this time on my hands isn't good. I wasn't feeling well enough to work, too exhausted to read, sleeping WAY too much and not wanting to eat so cooking was out. I love to read, write, work, cook and get out an about when I'm on my own. So this week has been just an exercise in returning ghosts from the past. Sure don't miss them. And I can't wait to get the heck out of here soon! Almost out of the woods...and happy thoughts... happy thoughts