Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Seven Year Bitch

Fen and I have been married for 7 years, 3 months and 14 days. The first year was difficult - getting to know each other - we didn't live together before we got married so it was quite a transition. The toughest things for me were giving up half of my giant walk-in closet (we moved into my place) and not having control of the remote. But we persevered and made it relatively unscathed to year 7.

This was the year we moved to London with our 2 1/2 year old daughter and newborn son. I know I've harped on about how difficult it was - and it has been.

I think the hardest thing is dealing with the kids at this stage. Cate is a handful. The other day I counted how many times I said some variation of, 'Get off your brother', 'Don't hit the baby', 'Give hin back his toy': 42 times between 9:30am and 7:30pm. I was DONE. I practically threw X at Fen when he walked in the door.

Fen worked almost every night last week and by the time I put both kids to bed I was just spent. So Sunday I wanted to run for the hills and have a little time to myself. So did Fen. To be fair - he has been working a lot with little time to himself. But I did not care. I wanted time away from the kids. Just an hour - 45 minutes even.

We had a humdinger of a 'discussion' which resulted in me having a guilt ridden hour and a half to myself. I went to the library and read. It was great to just sit and do a little work (I'm desperate for time to work - which challenges me and calms me down) but I kept wondering if I was wrong to demand time to myself.

I've decided it wasn't. I deserve to have an hour to myself every now and again and I'm going to take it. I told Fen to go to the movies or the gym when I got back but he declined the invite (guilt, I wonder?).

Being with the kids day in and day out is hard. And anyone who does it has my utmost respect. Trying to get a little wilful toddler/child to just behave or entertained takes everything you've got. Pile on the responsiblities of running after a recently crawling/cruising baby, including the never ending pile of laundry.... well... it's no party.

My kids mean everything in the world to me. They are both very sweet and adorable but after three solid days of fighting, crying, defiance, back talking, sassiness and anyone would need to take a breather (or a bottle of scotch).

We're just going to have to continue to discipline Cate (the hardest thing I've EVER done, EVER) and keep her in line until this awful, demanding, challenging, defiant stages passes into the next tough, challenging, defiant stage. Which, I'm hoping, isn't for another 10 or so years. That should be enough time to regroup... right? Keep your fingers crossed.

5 comments:

  1. Been there, got the t-shirt. It is a thankless stage (with good bits as you say.) It's worse when you've been a functioning and intelligent adult as you remember and crave the 'other' life, (forgetting the bad bits!)

    It gets soooo much better, I swear. The 5yo and I now have CONVERSATIONS! The 7yo is thrilled by her own independence and they are both capable of doing their own hair, teeth, bums, toast etc, thus freeing me slightly. The 7yo has just asked me to teach her how the coffee machine works so she can bring me a coffee occasionally! Wow!

    Deep breaths, perfection is not an option at this stage, but a bath with the door locked and a bit of reading is.

    I relish the fact that none of my friends are Superwoman (...oh except for the ones with nannies and cleaners and ironers!)

    xx

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  2. Wow you only told them off 42 times, I've 2 boys aged 2 & 4 and I can run into the hundreds!!! I know how you fell, it's so demanding, difficult at times but utterly rewarding in the long run.

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  3. You have no reason to feel guilty, but sometimes it is hard not to fell that way. "Me time" is vital to your health and your relationships.

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  4. Keep the faith lol ... it will get better ... er um ....look forward to those teenage years hehehehehehehe xx

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  5. Bringing up children is sooooo hard but soooooooooooo rewarding!

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Go ahead, make my day!