Sunday, October 25, 2009

Top 10 Dumb Things Said to Me During My Pregnancy

The things people say to me while I'm pregnant still stun me to no end. Strangers, friends, co-workers, family - doesn't matter - most are clueless and beyond rude. Not to mention insensitive. Daily, and I mean daily, I get questions, comments, etc, about being pregnant. Most people mean well, but many should just keep their yaps shut.

I'm due in exactly 5 weeks and 1 day and I've heard it all - truly. No need for any more comments. I carry fairly large and have big babies. My daughter Cate was 8lbs, 8oz. My soon-to-be son promises to weigh in on the heavier side as well. I'm not very tall - 5'3" and have a tall, fat-headed Samoan husband - the odds were stacked against me from the get-go.

So, I continue to weather the dumb comments people make every day. Most are said in elevators or on the subway. I can't even tell you how many times I've had to stand the entire way into the office while able bodied men and women sat staring at me and then made comments. I've dole out more poxes and silent jihads on the NY City public transit system than I care to think about - and I'm tired of it.

Here are my top ten dumb things said to me while pregnant:

10: You're HUGE! (I hear it every day and its' just what an exhausted pregnant woman wants to hear)

9. You sure it's not twins? (I think we would have figured that out by now.)

8. Shouldn't you be at home... or something? (from a man who had just given me his seat on the F train.)

7. You should be careful - getting that big isn't healthy. You're going to get gestational diabetes. (I didn't. And this was from a woman who was pitching her novel idea to me at a writer's conference. Needless to say I didn't request her work.

6. You're having a girl. (I then said it was a boy). "The doctor is wrong - that's a girl." (Guess the X&Y chromosomes and sonograms are useless)

5. You really look pregnant this time - front and back (LOVED hearing that one. My arse is pregnant too! Ah, the joy.)

4. That's just too freaky for me, how can you stand it? (From a man who witnessed the baby wriggling and my tummy jumping around)

3. You're STILL pregnant? It's been over nine months now, hasn't it. (Clearly not).

2. How do you wipe? (From a young woman - 20's  - in an elevator who had screwed up her nose and gaped at my stomach. I declined to answer).

And the #1 (drum roll please): That's a huge baby. Man, are you going to tear. (I'm having a c-section but thanks for the support!)

I hope the British are nicer when we get there! At least I won't be pregnant anymore (or ever again).


  1. Given that we Brits are usually a little more reserved about speaking to total strangers about extremely personal stuff, I think you'll be OK!
    I cannot believe the top two though. Incredible!

  2. That's good to know! I didn't even post the truly offensive comments. I'm fairly thick skinned but I've been shocked to the marrow by some of the zingers. Maybe I *should* stay home... or something.

  3. Ouch! Yes, Brits are more reserved and will save their comments until you are out of earshot.

    BTW- Thank you for linking to my blog. I moved here from San Francisco, but when I'm stateside I spend most of my time in New York. London/NY is a good trade. You won't get the severe sticker shock that happens to Americans who move here from less expensive places.

  4. Us Brits are far too polite to even refer to the fact that a person of the female persuaion may be in the family way.

    My all time favourite was when I arrived at the hospital in labour in the middle of the night and was shown to the duty doctor's office. I explained how long I'd been having contrations etc, to which he replied, well your belly is really big now, it might be time, to which the dolly bird nurse giggled profusely.

  5. Wow, those comments are enough to piss anyone off - let alone someone on the hormone train! I'm only five months, and on my first, so not showing too much yet. But I'm not going to bet on the famed "reserve and politeness" of the Brits. I've been living in London for almost four years now. I'm sorry if it offends, but Brits (or at least Londoners?) can be just as unreservedly rude as any American. I guess, if there is any real difference, it's just when and how the rudeness occurs. So for a foreigner, pretty much when you least expect it!

    Best of luck! And here's to healthy bouncing baby boys! ;)

  6. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


  7. Sometimes people can be so thoughtless that you almost have to laugh - though when 8 months pregnant it's probably a mix of laughing, crying and growling!

    I also started my blog while pregnant and I'm another expat from NY in London.


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